Tortle and the Size of a Feeling

Tortle is the oldest friend at Brightfield School. She is a tortoise with a round green-brown shell and a stripy knitted scarf, and she moves slowly. Very slowly. Some of the younger friends think that is funny. But Tortle knows something that is not funny at all. She knows that slow can be very, very useful.

One windy recess, Dabney the bunny came running to the bench where Tortle sat. Her ears were shaking. Her words tumbled out all at once.

“Corkie took my ball and Wimble laughed and nobody let me have a turn and it’s the WORST and I hate recess!”

Tortle did not say “calm down.” She did not say “it’s not that bad.” She did not try to fix anything at all.

She just put one slow front foot on her own chest. “Let’s take a breath together first,” she said. “In through your nose, like smelling a flower.”

Dabney sniffed in. Tortle sniffed in too, slooowly.

“And out through your mouth, like blowing on hot soup.”

They blew out together. Dabney’s ears stopped shaking quite so much.

Then Tortle asked her favourite question. “Dabney, how big did it feel?”

Dabney blinked. “What do you mean?”

Tortle drew five circles in the dust with her toe, from very small to very big.

“A tiny bit,” she said, tapping the smallest. “A little. Medium. Big. Or really big.” She tapped the biggest one. “Every size is okay. There is no wrong one.”

Dabney looked at the circles for a long time. Then she pointed. “Big,” she said. “Not really big. Just big.”

“Big,” Tortle nodded. “Thank you for telling me. A big feeling deserves to be listened to.”

And here is the funny thing. Once Dabney had pointed at the circle, the feeling felt a tiny bit lighter, the way a heavy bag feels lighter when someone helps carry it.

“Now,” said Tortle, “would you like to think about what to try next? Or would you like to just sit with me a while?”

Dabney sat. They watched the leaves blow across the playground. After a few minutes, Dabney stood up. “I think I’ll ask Corkie for a turn,” she said. “Nicely.”

“That sounds like a good try,” said Tortle.

That is Tortle’s slow, wise way. First a breath. Then the question: how big did it feel? Only then is it time to solve. Tortle has been doing it this way for a very long time, and she has never once been in a hurry.