Spark & Anvil Privacy

The Blueprint

For a real argument, fill it in on paper.

This is the sheet behind every replay — the tool counsellors call a “blueprint” of a conflict. It never asks who was right. It just fills in both maps, finds where they split, and looks for one different move and a repair. Print it and use it on a real one.

Replay sheet

What I feltthe feeling under what I showed
What they feltmy best guess at their feeling
What I wantedthe goal under my action
What they wantedtheir goal, even if it looked otherwise
What I showedthe outside — what they actually saw
What they showedthe outside — what I actually saw
Where the map splitthe misread that made it a conflict
A different move (me)one small thing I could do differently
A repairhow we mend it — no "but"